Can't fool Google

Have you ever lied?

Ray Comfort and his Way of The Master ministries have a favoured style of street preaching and evangalism. You can find examples on YouTube if you care to search. I wouldn't dignify anything to do with WOM with a link.

It starts with asking the punter "Have you ever lied?" When the reply is "Yes" They then ask "What does that make you?".
"A liar" is the logical response.
"Have you ever stolen anything?"
"Yes"
"What does that make you?"
"A thief"

Having put the mark on the defensive and made the mark admit his own"sin", the WOM evangalists then give chapter adn verse on how the reward for sin is hell, but you can be saved through the sacrifice of Jesus.

I had always thought a valid riposte would be to ask the evangalist if he had ever been kind, or helped anyone, or loved anyone, because by their own logic that would make him a kind, helpful, loving person, but of course they would then quote the Bible to show that our good works count for nothing before god.

I much prefer this excellent response from Over at the Richard Dawkins Net Forum by Sevlevboss:

I'll answer your questions if you answer mine.

1) Have you ever worn a diaper?
2) Have you ever drooled?
3) Were you breast fed?

OK, I may be a blasphemous liar, but you are a drooling, pants shitter who sucks his mom's tits!

Pure gravy.

Manic Street Preacher #2

So, Tony "The Lawman" carries a handgun when he's out preaching on the streets.

How do we know this?

Because he blogged about it. He later deleted the blog entry, but thanks to the vigilance of SMRT Jill D the blog post was saved. Below is thiat blog post, followed by a revealing exchange between Tony "PhD" Miano and a young Christian.

The Story of how I earned my 'Ph.D"

(Picture of handgun)

Don't freak. There's a good reason why there is a picture of a gun on my blog. :-)

I closed my last post with the following:

"One of the highlights of the afternoon was when Ray conferred upon me my first Ph.D. That's right. It's now "Dr. Lawman," thank you very much. To be continued....."

So, please, extend grace and patience to me while I digress from the usual evangelistic post and share with you, my friends and readers (not always one in the same), how I earned my first Ph.D.

As most of you already know, I spent twenty years of my adult life serving as a deputy sheriff with the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department. When I joined the Living Waters team at the beginning of the year, we all agreed that my presence would provide some additional security at headquarters, during film shoots (no pun intended), and whenever the need may arise.

From time to time, Ray will playfully ask, "Tony, are you packin' heat?"

Sometimes I answer. And sometimes, with a twinkle in my eye, I just give Ray a smile.

Well, for my birthday this year, I decided to treat myself to a new gun. When I retired from the Sheriff's Department, I had to turn in the firearm I carried for twenty years. And the other weapons I have are neither practical enough or tactical enough for life as a retired deputy sheriff. I needed something I could discreetly carry on my person that met my needs. So, I purchased the weapon pictured above: a Smith & Wesson M&P 9mm Compact. Ain't she a beaut! (Okay. We law enforcement types get unusual birthday presents.)

Yesterday, as Ray, Mark, and I made our way to Hollywood Boulevard, Ray asked, "Tony, are you packin heat?"

"Yes, Ray." I answered with a smile.

"Does it have a name?"

"No, Ray, I don't name my guns. Some people do; but I just never thought of my guns that way."

"Well, we should come up with a code word, just in case we need it."

"Need what?"

"Your gun!"

"Ah, let's hope that never happens." I said. "Well you're always asking me if I'm packin' heat.

Why don't we use 'Paul Henry' -- 'P' for 'Paul,' and 'H' for 'Henry'. 'Packin' heat,' 'Paul Henry.'

How does that sound?

Ray thought for a moment. Ray is not only a master of analogies, but he is also a master of acronyms. "How about 'Ph.D.!'"

"Ph.D.?"

"Yeah. 'Ph.D.' 'Packin' Heat Dude!'"

We all laughed, and the acronym stuck. And that's how Ray Comfort conferred upon me my first (and likely only) Ph.D.

So, in the words of the radio legend, Paul Harvey, now you've heard the rest of the story. :-)

How weird is Ray Comfort?

This, the is an exchange of posts between Tony and a young believer.

Tony Miano,

I believe you misplaced this. No matter, that’s only part of why I’m emailing you. Rather, [and unfortunately] I find occasion to call account of a deed of your’s which I do not see as at all Biblical (quite the opposite, as I hope to convince you). Namely, your carrying of a gun.

First of all, please understand where I’m coming from. As something like a red-neck myself, I completely empathize with you for carrying a gun. I simply don’t believe you have the right. Did the Apostle Paul make any effort to defend himself? Or what of Steven? Or any of the other apostles? Yet their scenarios were far worse then your own, my friend. Rest assured you have the law on your side. Paul didn’t, but he by no means undertook to defend himself.

You talk enough about hell and judgment –you ought to be more practical about it. Could you honestly and deliberately take the life of an unbeliever, knowing very well where that person was going? Might I ask, whatever happened to turning the other cheek? Or is, perhaps, your ministry truly only about yourselves?

Provers 9:8 says “Rebuke a wise man, and he will love you. Rebuke a fool, and he will hate you.” I think you get the point.

Sincerly, your brother in Christ,
Jonathan Brennecke

The Lawman replies:

Jonathan,

You close your e-mail with “Sincerely, your brother in Christ.” Yet the tone of your e-mail, young man, is anything but brotherly or Christian. While you ask some legitimate questions, the manner in which you ask them smack of sarcasm. If you are looking for a rational and respectful conversation, then I welcome it. But I don’t abide the disrespect of my children (some who are older than you), so why would I accept it from you?

So, if you are a Christian, then approach me the way a young Christian man would approach an older Christian man. Change your attitude and maybe we will have a conversation. “Do not sharply rebuke an older man, but rather appeal to him as a father” (1 Timothy 5:1a).

One of the reasons I removed the article you referenced is because I came to realize that it might be a cause of stumbling for some. You validated this by the tone and content of your e-mail.

Again, I welcome your questions, so long as you can behave in a respectful manner.

I am in the middle of a conference, at the moment. So, if you do decide to change the tone of your rhetoric, we may be able to continue the conversation in a few days.

So, the question not addressed, Just a slapdown for not showing enough respect.

Jonathan replies:

Tony Miano,

I’ll be the first to admit that my tone was rash –is rash– but love is rash. Love is audacious. Love is uncompromsing. If you must glean nothing more from my words than that, so be it.

I will tell you what love is not. Love is not patronizing, not derisive, not condemning.

I may be young enough to be your son, but I am not your son –don’t patronize me. The future belongs to the young, Tony. Get off your high horse already and recall that Jesus said to come to him like a child.

Jon,
Pesharim

Tony responds with:

I may answer your questions in a future blog post. But until your attitude changes, this will end our conversation.

In the first reply Miano said one of the reasons he removed the post was:

I came to realize that it might be a cause of stumbling for some.

and he accusses Jon of having done exactly that.
"Causing someone to stumble" is a Christian euphamism for "I can do this thing because I have rationalised it to myself, but if you try and do it, you are not sufficiently spiritually mature and it will lead you into sin".
They tend to use it with regard to things that are not explicitly forbidden in the Bible, like smoking, for example, or heavy metal, or big fat mustaches.

Manic Street Preacher #1

Over at the SMRT forums someone posted a link to this video of Tony "The Lawman" Miano.



Tony "The Lawman" Miano is a colleague of Ray "Bananaman Comfort" at Living Waters. When I watched this video I was appalled by the hypocricy and the cowardice.

The video is hosted on YouTube channel called "TheLawman104". It's a bit strange because it looks like it's his channel, it says "Tony" next to the name field, but in all the video descriptions he talks about himself in the third person. Very Odd. Ray Comfort's been known to speak of himself in the third person too. It must be some Living Waters delusion of grandeur thing.

He calls himself "The Lawman" because he's ex-cop, and he's big on preaching "The Law" of the Bible. He's also big on mustache, and reminds me of the cop from Village People. Or the leather man.

He also carries a gun.

That's right. Watch the video. Hear how he refers to the crowds as "rabid". He says "The most loving thing you can do for a homosexual . . . is to lovingly share the Law and the Gospel with them" I don't think Biblical law is filled with love for homosexuality. And if it's all done so lovingly, why carry a gun?

On the other hand, he also believes that homosexuals are an abomination to his god. That makes his gun even more worrying.

I will shortly publish the post he deleted from his blog, where he tells of why he carries the gun, and how Ray Comfort came up with the nick-name/codeword "PhD" for Tony's gun. I will also post the discussion between Tony and a young Christian who contacted him asking about the morality of an armed evangalist.

The Mark of the Beast - tamed

The planet is a big place. And most of it is not the USA. Most of it is not Europe.
This is something that SciFi films and End Times believers always forget.

I was watching an episode of Farscape the other day. It was episode 6, Series 1 "Thank God It's Friday, Again" The Peacekeepers had drugged up an entire planet and had them growing the druggy root, which the Peacekeepers used in weaponry. Luckily the Farscape crew landed at the one town where the sole representative of the entire planet happened to be.
Which was lucky.

The program would have us believe that all the people on the planet grew the same crop. That all the people on the planet were under the control and reach of the Peacekeepers. It's not very likely is it?

And this is what SciFi has in common with End Time prophesy, the inability to grasp global scale.

Because with the current financial crisis, various christian knobs are getting excited and claiming it is a sign of the end. And when it is pointed out that the crisis will not last I read one person claiming that the solution to the crisis was
"International Socialism. The progression to worldwide totalitarian socialism is what is prophesied."
They go on about only being able to buy and sell if you have some kind of mark. And this is where I get global. Across the whole planet? So, while folks in USA and across Europe have some kind of mark/tattoo/chip that enables them to shop, peasant farmers in the Congo have them too? And fishermen in Bangladesh will have this chip? And trappers in Mongolia? They don't even have shops for chrissake! In Zimbabwe the official inflation rate is in the trillions percent and things are done by barter. Do you think Zimbabweans are going to get uptight about a tattoo? The shops are empty. So if the R
rapture and tribulations starts tomorrow, Zimbabwe will be exempt?

It's stupid. This antichrist, one-world government thing is so small minded. For the same reasons that the authors of Ezekiel, Isaiah, Daniel and Revelations were incapable of percieving a world beyond their horizons, so we tend to think that what effects us and our countries can have planet-wide applications. Small mindedness, lack of imagination.
The Left Behind series tried to make a nod towards the effect of the rapture in other countries, but in the same way that Independence Day did, by showing an alien craft crashing near the pyramids. A token effort.
The reality is, that christians in America think that God is uniquely concerned with America, just like christians in Britain think about the tribulation causing problems shopping at Boots.
But the reality is that the world is a big, big place, and the mark of the beast is simply a logistical impossibility.

End Times?

Ray Comfort reckons that the current financial crisis was predicted in the Bible and is a sign that the end is nigh.

Those of you who are regular atheists must be getting worried. Not about the future, but about the fact that you know what the Bible had to say about the future.

What exactly is a 'regular' atheist Ray? An atheist whos is an OK, regular person, or someone who is 'regularly atheist? I hate those atheists that keep chopping and changing, one week they believe, the next week they're agnostic...

I watched CBS news this morning. This is how it began:
"Breaking News. Global market’s plummet this morning after Wall Street’s nearly 900 billion dollar loss on Thursday. Credit markets around the world are seized up in a manner no one has ever seen before."
We are seeing Bible prophecy being fulfilled before our very eyes.

Ah yes, I remember the verse well - Jeremiah 47:89 "And lo! The the voice procalimed 'verily the Nasdaq shall plummet like the stars from the sky'"

Experts have long predicted that we would see a world-wide economic collapse,

Which experts? For how long?

a one-world government, and the raising up of a charismatic world leader that will bring peace and stability and will not let people buy and sell without a mark...

Still waiting on these....

As this unfolds, it is slowly dawning on you that the Bible is right

As what unfolds? A financial crisis I'll grant you, but I've seen hide nor hair of the one world govt, nor the antichrist nor the mark of the beast.

and that all those "mistakes" you found in the Bible were actually your mistakes.

Ok, right. It's my mistake that the geneolgies for Jesus don't match, that you can't ride an ass and a foal at the sime time, that bats are birds and that rabbits chew their cud. It was me that put in prophesies about being a 'Nazarine' that don't exist in the OT, and it was me that wrote about Joshua destroying cities that didn't exist at the time. It was my hand that wrote about Simon btraying Jesus as the cock crowed/after the cock crowed/once/twice/three times.
I'm terribly sorry, I didn't realise before that the Bible's mistakes were mine.

And that leads to a sobering revelation. It means that Hell is real.

Wrong. As already mentioned. A financial crisis is not fulfillment of prophesy. And even if it were, the Bible doesn't describe Hell the way I know you, Ray Comfort, believe it does. Hell is not proven by a Wall Street crash.

So, what are you going to do? I have a suggestion. Humble yourself, then admit you were wrong, and get right with God through repentance and faith in Jesus. Then begin to reach out to the lost with the same zeal you had as an atheist.

I have a proposition for you instead Ray. I predict that within a month, the markets will be back to normal. When my prophesy comes true I'd like you to admit that you are using your usual scare tactics. Taking advantage of today's uncertainty to put the fear of hell into people. I'd like you to admit that you were wrong and that this crisis is just one of those cyclic economic things that come around, and nothing to do with end times.

I won't be holding my breath. Ray Comfort, you utterly worthless human being.

Dear reader, should you wish to read Ray Comfort's blog it is at raycomfortfood dot blogspot dot com. I can't bear to link to the man. Or you can read the livlier Raytractors blog

Paradox

About the year 600BC the Cretan philosopher Epimenides of Knossos said "All Cretans are liars" and thus stated one of the oldest and best known self-referntial paradoxes.

If the statement is true, the nall Cretans ARE liars, but Epimenides himself was Cretan so he must have been lying when he said it. But if he was lying then ... and so on.

Now, I never knew that this paradox is quoted in the Bible. At least I did know because I have read the verse as part of the Letter to Titus but didn't know what it referred to. Reading the book "Aha! Gotcha: Paradoxes to Puzzle and Delight" by Martin Gardner taught me lots, but then I still didn't realise the reference in Titus. (Can't find that book, I must have lent it to someone)

The author of the letter (it is disputed as to whether or not it is Paul) says in Titus 1:12-13 - "Even one of their own prophets has said, "Cretans are always liars, evil brutes, lazy gluttons." This testimony is true."

Bloody typical. Not only does the author miss the point completely, taking it to be an actual observation about Cretans and not as an exercise in logic, he further misquotes and attributes evil, laziness and gluttony to them. see my edit below.

And then to cap it off, in perfect irony, he adds "This testimony is true"
But, if it's true, then the guy who said it ('one of their own prophets') must be a liar so it's not true etc etc.

The author of the letter to Titus shows exactly the same mentality and ignorance that we see in today's popular christian apologists. If you spend any time reading Ray Comfort's blog you'll see what I mean.

I recommend you reach Ray Comfort's blog via the clever and sexy Raytractors. That way you can be vaccinated against the stupid before you inflict it on yourself.

edited to acknowledge my own ignorance, after further research:
The author of Titus is not misquoting, he is working from a stanza in the poem Cretica by Epimenides:

They fashioned a tomb for thee, O holy and high one—
The Cretans, always liars, evil beasts, idle bellies!
But thou art not dead: thou livest and abidest forever,
For in thee we live and move and have our being.

Minos is talking to Zeus, so the Cretan "lie" is that Zeus is dead. Which is yet further irony given that the Cretans seem to have been early atheists, or at least aZeusists.

This poem by Epimenides is also quoted in Acts 17:28