Spritual Attack

For most of us, shit happens.
Your car breaks down on the way to work, the biro leaks in your shirt pocket, and the goon at work is giving you a hard time. Shit happens.
But if you're a fundie Christian it's all the fault of Satan and it's a spiritual attack, for the express purpose of making you lose your faith in God.

There are several ongoing threads at Rapture Ready on spritual attacks. because these bozos believe the end is nigh, they are also convinced that spritual attacks are on the increase as Satan, in his last gasp attempts to forestall the inevitable final triumph of jesus lashes out at the faithful. All the following quotes have come from the last three days.
(It needs mentioning that back in the day, I was a bozo too)

I am just completely exausted. I sometimes feel like one more day will be to much! I think of all that is going on in the world is just amazing...I am just so heartbroken that our country is being sold out. And it seems nobody has a clue about what is happening. Everybody is walking around as if it's business as usual. We are a matter of months to a year away from Iran getting nukes....I just dont know. People its time to wake up!

Yes, there's been weird things going on in my corner too. Mostly things happening to people close to me (alcoholic brother relapsing, etc.), things not working out much more so than usual, yet it seems God causes other doors to open. Usually I would be a bit more negatively affected, but I've just put these things in God's hands and I feel at peace. Praise God!
Lately I've been led to pray for God's supernatural hedge of protection around my family, friends, neighbors and brothers and sisters in Christ (around the world and of course here at RR). I really think that we are in a time where we will survive only through God's constant supernatural guidance.
All week last week I couldn't find my Sunday School material for teaching kindergartners at church. I was kind of stumped as to where in the world it went, I'm pretty good about making sure the material is in a safe spot in the house.

I, too have felt the 'heaviness' upon my heart in the past 2 weeks. I know I am getting closer to the Lord, yet I still have a long way to go. My heart is unsettled and I know it shouldn't be. I've made it a habit to take some quiet time daily and pray (I also talk to the Lord during the day) and I am reading my bible on a fairly daily basis. It does help me, but I am still struggling.

I have had attacks that lasted for years and I wanted to kill myself because of them. God provided me a way to stand against the hurricaine that had invaded my life. I seem to be in a resting period right now. All I can say is that nothing lasts forever in this life. Nothing good and nothing bad. Just think that we could be living in the millenium kingdom 10 years from now and forget everything about this time that we live in. It's very possible.

One of the most upsetting things that I've seen lately is the amount of attacks from other self-called "Christians." Has anybody else been experiencing this?
One of Satan's ploys, apparently, it to attack from directions that are almost unimaginable. It's expected to be hurt by non-believers. However, my family, recently, has been attacked by some who proclaim to be Christians. These attacks are more shocking because they are so unexpected. So many are being led down that wide path, and they don't even realize it.

I'm not sure what to think, I feel weird about the World every single day.
Just hang in there, things are heating up! This IS the Last Generation.
Can't be too long.

The same here also, the days go by and I feel well different, going throw the motion's of life, but at the same time feeling I guess a big sense of change coming are way.....I also feel the sense of urgency to leave tracts everywhere especially the last couple of days, one day it was late and I couldn't get it off my mind so I left and just went around leaving tracts everywhere... about 30 to 45 minutes later I came back feeling much better, the same thing yesterday.....but I also have the sense of peace that the Lord has it under control....and I really believe that there is a spirtural battle going on right now, the devil knows his time is really short....but pray and stay close to God......For Jesus is coming back!

The Mark of the Beast - tamed

The planet is a big place. And most of it is not the USA. Most of it is not Europe.
This is something that SciFi films and End Times believers always forget.

I was watching an episode of Farscape the other day. It was episode 6, Series 1 "Thank God It's Friday, Again" The Peacekeepers had drugged up an entire planet and had them growing the druggy root, which the Peacekeepers used in weaponry. Luckily the Farscape crew landed at the one town where the sole representative of the entire planet happened to be.
Which was lucky.

The program would have us believe that all the people on the planet grew the same crop. That all the people on the planet were under the control and reach of the Peacekeepers. It's not very likely is it?

And this is what SciFi has in common with End Time prophesy, the inability to grasp global scale.

Because with the current financial crisis, various christian knobs are getting excited and claiming it is a sign of the end. And when it is pointed out that the crisis will not last I read one person claiming that the solution to the crisis was
"International Socialism. The progression to worldwide totalitarian socialism is what is prophesied."
They go on about only being able to buy and sell if you have some kind of mark. And this is where I get global. Across the whole planet? So, while folks in USA and across Europe have some kind of mark/tattoo/chip that enables them to shop, peasant farmers in the Congo have them too? And fishermen in Bangladesh will have this chip? And trappers in Mongolia? They don't even have shops for chrissake! In Zimbabwe the official inflation rate is in the trillions percent and things are done by barter. Do you think Zimbabweans are going to get uptight about a tattoo? The shops are empty. So if the R
rapture and tribulations starts tomorrow, Zimbabwe will be exempt?

It's stupid. This antichrist, one-world government thing is so small minded. For the same reasons that the authors of Ezekiel, Isaiah, Daniel and Revelations were incapable of percieving a world beyond their horizons, so we tend to think that what effects us and our countries can have planet-wide applications. Small mindedness, lack of imagination.
The Left Behind series tried to make a nod towards the effect of the rapture in other countries, but in the same way that Independence Day did, by showing an alien craft crashing near the pyramids. A token effort.
The reality is, that christians in America think that God is uniquely concerned with America, just like christians in Britain think about the tribulation causing problems shopping at Boots.
But the reality is that the world is a big, big place, and the mark of the beast is simply a logistical impossibility.

Darwin Day = Satan Day

My favorite site for fundamental christian looniness is Rapture Ready

Someone posted a thread on Darwin Day. "This'll be interesting", I thought.

The original post was a op-ed piece from a crazy lady called Sharon Hughes. Read that link, it's crazy enough in its own right.

Here are some of the responses to the notion of Darwin Day:
"That is disgusting.
Oh well,that is just fulfilling prophecy more. oh my goodness.
that is my birthday, how disgusting. And it is Abraham Lincoln's birthday, too. That makes it more disgusting." - BlessedinHim

"If my children's school sets aside this day to celebrate Darwin, my kids will not be in school that day. Christian's should keep their kids home in protest. Pray for our young people, they really are being raised in a generation of Godlessness. (The One and Only God, I don't mean the other "gods".)" BibleNuggetLady

"Richard Dawkins wrote the book "The God Delusion". When I've read blurbs about him, it sounds as if he has quite a bit of hatred toward Christianity, and those who embrace it.
Well, I don't mind if he refers to me as ignorant or stupid; after all, God has chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise.
But wicked? Give me a break. I guess this is what atheists do to get a rise out of Christians, for whatever reason." Mountain_Girl

"They say this because they hate us. They hate us because we make them very uncomfortable by our very presence - it reminds them that there is a God." Anddrai

"I hope they will ask this holiday off ... then we wouldn't have to "celebrate" it" CD4U (OP)

"Not heard one word about this in my district. I'm sure it's not wide-spread." Lisa

"Darwin Day"...oh brother! Yeah, let's pay homage to one of the most ignorant people to ever have existed...LOL. Darwin doesn't believe in evolution now - guaranteed.
I don't foresee this coming to the public schools where I live, but if it ever does, not only will my kids not be participating, but the powers that be will vocally hear my staunch opposition to such nonsense. I can't imagine many parents in these parts advocating this.
Richard Dawkins came to our community not too long ago for a speaking engagement. He's a self-absorbed, foolish man. Praying that he sees the error of his ways before it's too late. Don't let people like him get to you; remember, their knees will bow and their tongues will confess that Jesus is Lord one day." BrideOfChrist

"Dawkins has also said that any parent teaching their own child about God is guilty of child abuse by brain washing and should have the children removed from them permanently.
The guy is employed by Oxford as a professor. Is it any wonder the colleges are turning out more and more graduates that have rejected the faith of their youth?
Just saying" funmudder

"he is just as guilty for brainwashing kids to hate Christians.
And there are people who brainwash their kids that nudist is good, there are people who brainwash their kids to be vegetarian, there are people who brainwash their kids to think aliens created them, etc. So he does he think everyone should have freedom to brainwash their kids except Christians?
There are people who were raised in a Christian home who reject Christ, and there are people who were raised in a atheist home who accept Christ. So I wouldn't call it brainwashing, it is the decision that people make for themselves and it doesn't matter how they were raised." CD4U (OP)

"Darwin Day = Satan Day Just another sign of the times." 1angel4u

"'evenin' all!
I've just joined these boards and this OP caught my eye!
I think the previous poster was right. It is only one day after all but you'll have to brace yourselves because next year is the 150th anniversary." Flavell

"Although it doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things, for the sake of precision it should be noted that Darwin was trained in the divinities and prepared for the Anglican priesthood. It was his scientific observations which made him first reject the idea of a benevolent creator (asking what kind of god would create parasitic wasps was one of his famous questions), and following the death of his daughter, he separated entirely from theological pursuits and despite the fact that he still participated in the social events of his family's church, personally didn't attend services and remained agnostic until his death.
As I mentioned, it doesn't change anything, but no sense feeling bad for the man for the wrong reasons. His departure from faith was weakened by pressure to reconcile his faith with his observations, and finished off by a personal tragedy in his family." Queue

"Actually Darwins observations do nothing to counter God's word. I'm not sure why so many Christians oppose him so vehemently. Who are we to say God didn't use evolution to form our world?" Wavering_Walk

"Don't insult God WW!
Darwin made interpretations based upon his belief system not "scientific observations"." Alhere

"It does not agree with scripture. the order Darwin says things appeared is different than what Genesis teaches." BlessedinHim


Seeing the thread on site has maximum impact for xian smilies, icons, avatars and sigs.
To coin a phrase: Fundies say the darndest things

Well, thanks for the heads up on next year being the 150th anniversary.

Every day is April Fool's at Rapture Ready

I'm a glutton for punishment, and I've been reading the threads at the Rapture Ready forums.
Rapture Ready. Now there's a whacky world of weirdness. Just read their posting rules to see how uptight and twisted they are. I love rule 30. "No liberal agendas". Rule 16 states "We believe that the Holy Bible (old and new testaments, 66 books) is the only true Word of God in its entirety and fullness, is perfect without error and not open to private interpretations." But then in rules 11, 15, 26, 28 and 29 they ban any speculations on interpreting the scriptures. If I was god, passing my ideas to mankind via a book I'd make sure the meaning was unambiguous.

Anyway . . .

There was a joke posted about atheists, and it irritated me a lot, because the joke was stupid, rather than funny, and posted in an area where non-believers aren't allowed to post.
Here's the joke:
I have no idea if this actually happened, probably not, but thought it was good enough to share anyway.

(Some judges do have a sense of humour)
Have you heard about this case? Great answer from The Judge!

In Florida , an atheist bece incensed over the preparation of Easter and Passover holidays. He decided to contact his lawyer about the discrimination inflicted on atheists by the constant celebrations afforded to Christians and Jews with all their holidays while atheists had no holiday to celebrate.

The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the long passionate presentation by the lawyer, the Judge banged his gavel and declared,

"Case Dismissed!"

The lawyer immediately stood and objected to the ruling and said, 'Your honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter and many other observances. Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah...yet my client and all other atheists have no such holiday!'

The judge leaned forward in his chair and simply said, 'Obviously your client is too confused to even know about, much less celebrate his own atheists' holiday!'

The lawyer pompously said, 'Your Honor, we are unaware of any such holiday for atheists. Just when might that holiday be, your Honor?'

The judge said, 'Well it comes every year on exactly the same date---April 1st! Since our calendar sets April 1st as 'April Fools Day,' consider that Psalm 14:1 states, 'The fool says in his heart, there is no God.' Thus, in my opinion, if your client says there is no God, then by scripture , he is a fool, and April 1st is his holiday! Now have a good day and get out of my courtroom!!

Way to go, Judge!
The particularly irritating thing was the way the numbnuts on the board presume it's a real story and not a joke:
"That is priceless!! I can just imagine the apoplectic looks on the faces of that lawyer and his atheist client!!
That judge deserves a medal!"
and
"I have seen the coming of this type of Holiday idea. I am very glad that the judge did have a great way of putting things. Unfortunately many other judges will not do this. We are in tough times. Buz and Moderators, your stuff was good. Check your pm. I love having the opportunity to share a truthful opinion, and even though I disagree with one of the posters, I would only gently tell them that Atheists have no love for our faith. God does not believe in Atheists. That is even more interesting.
Stand for what is righteous, true, perfect, praiseworthy, and even focus upon these things. I search for all the truth, and this situation is actually funny at the moment, but it may not do so well in the 9th circuit court CA."
If the story is true, where is the date, the names? What court was this? What courts have the rights to set holidays?
And the judge is talking bollcks anyway, because April Fool is not a public holiday. It's just a date with associated traditions, like Halloween or Valentine's day.
And there already are nonreligious holidays. Most countries have national day like July 4th or July 14th in France. In France we also have May 1st as a holiday (Labour Day)
I can't imagine any atheist pleading for a special holiday. I like the ones we already have just fine. Easter and Christmas fall so close to Spring Equinox and Winter Solstice that they make ideal times for a break and a celebration.
So, here's the joke re-hashed.
A christian & an atheist were talking at work.
"It's not fair that there are so many religious holidays and no special days for atheists"
"But you do have a special day" replied the christian
"I suppose you mean Haloween" said the atheist, because the christian might think all atheists were evil
"No, April Fool's day"
"What's April Fools got to do with atheism"
"Psalm 14:1 states, 'The fool says in his heart, there is no God.'"
Voila - same idea, same triumphant christian at the end, a mini-joke midway with the haloween thing and no bullshit about courts, judges or "pompous lawyers"